Dear blog,
Yesterday was a hard day at my job. It was hard to be super mom and it was hard just to be mom. I know that we are adjusting into summer. Things are not going as I planed. But it has only been 2 days things will get better, I know they will, things have to get better.
These are just a few things that made yesterday challenging. Lilly is sick. Her stomach is bothering her and she has a fever. We are limited to what we can do.
Second, We took everyone to swim. Lilly sat out sick and Max cried, ran away from me, and cried. I'm holding him like a baby at the top of his lane while I wait for his coach to grab him for a lap in the pool. Thank goodness there is plenty of mom help at the pool so my friend takes Luke for me so I can deal with Max. All the while I am contemplating why am I making him do this? Do I give in? Do I let him quit?
I'm making him do this b/c this is my love. I love swimming. I'm good at. I want my kids to be good at it. It is fun!! Good swimmers lead into life guarding and life guarding is the best job ever. But that was for me. I think I know how my dad must of felt when we didn't love tennis as much as he did or that I never learned to play well enough were we could play in a serious match. I'm glad that my brother learned to play in high school. I think when he and my dad played, it was a proud moment for both of them.
Do I give in? Do I let him quit? He is six. He has proven to be on the immature end. Is he capable? Oh yes. There are many kids that are at his level on the team. Kevin and I talked about it a lot last night. And what he came up with is, it is up to me. I will have to fight him every morning, and fight he will. So am I ready for that fight?
When I woke up this morning and asked Max if he wanted to go to swim team and he answered no, I was okay with that. We can try in another year or two.
I found out later today that some kids were cut from the swim team because the coaches didn't think that they could do it. Yes, I agree that your child must be able to swim across the pool without holding onto the lane line but I feel bad for the moms and the kids that wanted to stick it out and didn't know that there was a possibility of them not making the team.
Third, Luke is SO TWO!! It is a total love hate relationship. He has so much to say and can't say it. He doesn't understand that he can't have yogurt for every meal or that it is not OK get out a popsicle when he feels like one. He wants to be included in everything. As I was trying to help Max set up a fort to keep him occupied. Luke comes barreling down the hall and jumps on the thing every time Max gets it set up. Other examples of how busy he is when I give him a snack to occupy him for a minute he has already dumped in on the floor or smeared it into the couch before I am done with my little job. He loves to dump things out. Every bin or basket is dumped out at least 2 times a day. Oh and we lost his binky the other day so it is no more binky. He does fine until nap time or bed time. OY!! Not enough sleep for a two year old is a sad thing.
Forth, with this no binky thing and Lilly being sick, we are all lacking in the sleep department. Kevin and I have colds and we are just not 100%. I felt so bad when I went to YW on Wednesday night, because one of my friends asked me what was wrong. I have no poker face when things are bothering me you can tell. Sorry friends I am lame.
During my talk with Kevin he reminded me that it is OK for our kids to watch TV, eat more snacks than usual and stay in jammies longer. It's their summer too.
So that is what they did this morning watched TV, and the boys were dressed and happy.
I'm mostly writing this post so when I read this in a month or year I can laugh about what I whiner I am. Or when my kids read it they will see that even their wise mom (I say wise because when you have kids of your own you always realize how wise your parents really were) struggled being a mom and prayed for guidance consistently to know how to mother them because I love them so and want to do the best for them. I will always keep trying.
5 comments:
Great post. You are definitely not alone, and you are right, Lilly will look at this post years from now and will 100% relate. Thanks for the peek ahead of what my summer will be like NEXT year with a 2 year old boy who never sits still. :)
I think it's important to write about the hard times of motherhood because when we get through it, we will be so proud that we did it. Also, I forget things easily. When my daughters (I hope I have one!) come to me with the hardships of motherhood, I want to be able to really remember and share my experiences as well.
As for Max, I have not reached the point where I am trying to interest my kids in my own hobbies. That being said, I don't think there was any right or wrong thing to do. I have thought though, that when my kids show an interest in something, I want to help them stick out with their decision. Teaching follow through is important. However, this wasn't something Max decided to do on his own, and I really don't think there is a right or wrong. Good luck my dear.
Oh, and 2 year olds are REALLY hard sometimes....
Being a mom IS super hard! Props to our own moms; if only I had known then what I know now!
We've all had weeks like this, and we'll all have them again. It's good to remember them for when they come up again, then we can say: Oh yeah, we survived that one, we'll survive this one too.
Feel better.
Dear friend, you hang in there. There is such a steep learning curve for moms, and you're doing an awesome job.
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